Today was a hard day for me...I found out my aunt/step mom however u want to put it is sick. Not sure at them moment what this might be...but she has 3 golf size tumors on the brain and 2 tumors in her lungs. Test results will be in tomorrow to see what the result will be. Its hard for me..this is the time when food comforts me...for better or worse...it does. So I did allow myself to half a cup of Rockey Road with whip cream on top...not to many points...but it was nice and tasty.
I then didn't get a chance to work out...but I didn't eat dinner either. I was to upset. Its weird I got into a little tiff with my roommate and came upstairs and layed on the bed and balled my eyes out. I cried for both Mary's...for life being so fucked up...cried because once I'm happy with something...something else happens to say nope not yet...u need more to cry about...
How can someone so young get so sick...how is that possible...look at the lives they will never have...the weddings and graduations they will miss out on. I think about all the times I bitched about her...not that they weren't warranted...and was even asked by someone if I was sad cause did I like her? What an awful thing to ask...I love her. Its funny because at her sons wedding last month I realized that she had become a part of me. I wanted to be there for her...as much as she looked for me. I guess in some ways I might be the daughter she never had...even though she isn't the best friend my mom is...she is someone who I love and is in my life...even when I'm mad or annoyed...I still love that person. Its weird...what can I say? she is a part of my life and hope to god tomorrow will bring better news then today so she can stay in my life just a little bit longer.
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